


Fuck Canon

by emeriin



Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Gen, sexual assault but not glossed over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 12:45:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12211566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeriin/pseuds/emeriin
Summary: A self indulgent fic for me, Jen and Lexa. Critic's reaction to people kinning him.





	Fuck Canon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweet_witch_hella_knight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_witch_hella_knight/gifts).



Critic was in the middle of a sweet dream involving Will Smith and Catherine Zeta Jones with him in the middle, when an annoying wretch tried to shake him awake.

"Critic! Criiiiiitic!"

The beautiful bodies turned chunky and bloody as he kept his eyes shut, hoping she would go away. But she didn't, instead meeting her lips with his and he flailed awake, bitterly angry that she wasn't caught in his fists.

"Fucking what is fucking you fucking the fuck is wrong with you?" He was spitting and didn't care and she was just patiently watching him. Bitch.

"I had a thing to tell you," she said, too calmly.

Mocking jazz hands. "I know about the engagement, I was there. I don't care."

There was a mournful moment of puppy eyes that he was glad he was immune to by now, but she quickly got over it. "Not that! I have clones!"

He was still rageful, but now also confused. "What?"

"Okay so you know my girlfriend's fiancee and her best friend? They're kin of me which means they are me and love me that much! Isn't that cool?"

He didn't get it at all. "Sounds like snowflake shit." It's not like he wanted to be Mary Poppins when he was four years old or anything.

She smirked, loving having more knowledge than him. "Em is you."

He didn't really trust the UK girl, she thought about him way too much, claimed to love him but could go on about his ~misogyny~ for days, and what bitch in her right mind would willingly date Hyper? But his ego still rose. "Well. I guess she has some sorta taste."

She was almost vibrating with excitement. "Critic, do you get it? Em is you, her fiancee and best friend are you. Fiancees tend to have sex and best friends share all their deepest secrets…"

His skin went a clammy cold and grabbed his gun. "OUT OUT YOU'RE ALL FUCKING AWFUL."

She ran out giggling. He needed booze.


End file.
